What is Teen Dating Violence (TDV)?
When a Partner uses words, behaviors, and tactics to maintain power and control over their partner.
Words, behaviors, and tactics can be:
Subtle or Obvious.
Physical, Emotional, Psychological, or Sexual
Intended to make you feel anxious, fearful, angry, hopeless
*The word “partner” embraces any gender, sexuality, or cultural identity.
The relationship can be ‘official,’ like ‘boyfriend,’ ‘girlfriend,’ or ‘husband.’ but does not need to be. Any relationship can be abusive.
What are the Warning Signs?
Intensity
very extreme feelings and over-the-top behavior that feels overwhelming
Possessiveness
jealous to a point where they try to control who you spend time with and what you do
Manipulation
tries to control your decisions, actions or emotions, often in subtle or passive-aggressive ways.
Isolation
keeps you away from friends, family, or other supportive people
Belittling
does and says things to make you feel bad about yourself
Guilting
making you feel responsible for their actions, feelings or situations out of your personal control
Volatility
has strong, unpredictable reactions, and often overreactions, causing you to feel afraid or anxious
Deflection
not taking responsibility, or making excuses for their unhealthy behavior
Betrayal
being disloyal, or acting in a dishonest way with the intent of hurting you
Teen Power and Control Wheel
Teenage relationships have their own special issues of domestic violence. The wheel demonstrates the ways anger/emotional abuse, using social status, intimidation, minimizing/denying/blaming, threats, sexual coercion, and isolation/exclusion, and peer pressure turn into violence.
Note: Abuse can be difficult to identify and understand, and every situation looks a little different.
Why don’t people just break up with or leave their partner?
Sometimes, more often than not, it’s not that easy.
There are a lot of reasons someone might stay in a relationship, and a lot of barriers that make “just leaving” really hard. Feelings of love, affection, and attachment are powerful and valid. People often think they might not find anyone else, and have very low self esteem that can even make them think they deserve to be treated poorly (the truth: no one deserves that). But those thoughts are hard to ignore, especially if your partner is constantly putting you down. Feeling afraid that your partner will hurt you, someone you love, or themselves is another big risk of trying to leave. Then there’s the pressure from friends, family, or community to stay with this person – especially if that person acts differently in front of others. Some people might not recognize that what’s happening to them is abuse, and many people don’t know how to get help.
What are my rights as a youth/minor (over 12 years of age)?
You have the right to advocate for yourself.
You have the right to receive therapy services without parent/guardian permission.
You also have the right to apply for a restraining order against the person harming you.
You can receive both of these services through Next Door Solutions.
How can I build my Safety Plan?
A safety plan is a personalized strategy to remove yourself from dangerous/potentially dangerous situations, including unhealthy/abusive relationships. Use this interactive safety plan builder, either on your own, or with a friend or trusted adult!
For more tips on technology and internet safety, or to chat with experts about protecting your information and staying safe:
Go To the TheHotline.org Internet safety help system.
Meet Our Team!
JOCELYN JUAREZ (she/her/hers)
Title: Youth & Family Advocate
Next Door Solutions Program: Support Services. I provide individual support, peer counseling, and appropriate learning to children, youth, and families.
self-sufficiency services
assist families with school-related requests and supplies
assist parenting survivors with parenting questions
provide resources, advocacy, information, referrals, and crisis intervention services
teen support group (Teen Talk) for youth ages 10-14 & 15-18.
Got questions or ideas? Email me at: jjuarez@nextdoor.org
JOCELYN JUAREZ (she/her/hers)
Title: Youth & Family Advocate
Next Door Solutions Program: Support Services
What’s that mean? I provide individual support, peer counseling, and appropriate learning to children, youth, and families.
So, what do you do?
- self-sufficiency services
- assist families with school-related requests and supplies
- assist parenting survivors with parenting questions
- provide resources, advocacy, information, referrals, and crisis intervention services
- teen support group (Teen Talk) for youth ages 10-14 & 15-18.
Got questions or ideas? Email me at: jjuarez@nextdoor.org
MEGAN SCHNABEL (they/them/theirs)
Title: Youth Coordinator
Next Door Solutions Program: Prevention. Our program at Next Door Solutions provides prevention education and outreach to the community. My position works with youth specifically, mostly middle and high schoolers.
So, what do you do? I can host workshops and presentations on different topics (dating, mental health, etc.) and make social media content. I connect with other organizations and leaders in the community. Pretty much anything that might benefit youth, help them learn and become strong leaders!
Got questions or ideas? Email me! mschnabel@nextdoor.org
MEGAN SCHNABEL (they/them/theirs)
Title: Youth Coordinator
Next Door Solutions Program: Prevention
What’s that mean? Our program at Next Door Solutions provides prevention education and outreach to the community. My position works with youth specifically, mostly middle and high schoolers.
So, what do you do? I can host workshops and presentations on different topics (dating, mental health, etc.) and make social media content. I connect with other organizations and leaders in the community. Pretty much anything that might benefit youth, help them learn and become strong leaders!
Got questions or ideas? Email me! mschnabel@nextdoor.org
Youth and Family Services
Teen Talk
Teen talk is free and confidential for youth: ages 10-18 years old. It provides a safe space for youth who have experienced or witnessed domestic violence. Youth are encouraged to join if they want to learn about domestic violence and how to help others.
Common topics:
Healthy and unhealthy relationships
Communication
Conflict resolution
Self-esteem
Setting boundaries
Stress relief
Youth and Family Support Services
Our Youth and Family Advocate provides the emotional and practical support needed.
Individual support
Peer counseling
Age and Role appropriate services for children, youth and family members.
Access to local resources that meet additional needs.
For information, contact Jocelyn Juarez: jjuarez@nextdoor.org 408.673.8157
Prevention Programs for Youth
Are You Interested?
Tell your coaches and reach out to us!
Contact Adriana at agarcia@nextdoor.org
Coaching Boys Into Men!
High school athletic coaches work with young male athletes, helping to shape their attitudes and behaviors, supporting respect for women.
Violence does not equal strength both on and off the field!
For school athletes on Girls’ Sports Teams
Empowers girls to challenge stereotypes actively
Promotes healthy relationships
and Creates a safe and welcoming community for all.
NDS Youth Conferences
Next Door Solutions’ Prevention Program hosts virtual conferences for youth interested in learning about healthy relationships and dating violence prevention.
Our next youth conference 
May 2023 (details TBA)
Presentations, Workshops, and Outreach
NDS can address the needs of your class, club or community!
Choose a topic such as NDS services, Healthy Relationships, Domestic Violence or any related/intersectional issue, and send in our request form online! It’s easy and quick, and we’ll get right back to you!
Want Next Door Solutions to table at your school or community event?
We can bring information, materials, and fun merch.
Stay tuned for updates, announcements, and registration information!
View this profile on InstagramNext Door Solutions (@next_door_solutions) • Instagram photos and videos
Get Involved!
We believe that youth are key to ending the cycle of violence in our communities.
Youth Leadership Opportunities at NDS
Are you interested in doing activism work in your school or community?
Join NDS and their youth leaders cohort!
Spend time with other youth, discuss topics and issues you care about, and learn skills to better support you and your community.
Upcoming Campaigns and Events
Attend an awareness events and campaign with NDS, such as Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month!
Check back here for updates and upcoming events, or reach out to us!
Other Helpful Resources
Amaze: AMAZE takes the awkward out of sex ed. Real info in fun, animated videos that give you all the answers you actually want to know about sex, your body and relationships.
loveisrespect.org: Learn about healthy/unhealthy relationships or contact a peer advocate by texting “LOVEIS” to 22522 or calling 1-866-331-9474.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: call 1.800.799. SAFE (7233) or TEXT “START” to 88788 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides essential tools and support to help survivors of domestic violence so they can live their lives free of abuse.
National Suicide Prevention: If you’re in crisis and need support, please call or text 988 to be connected with a trained, caring counselor. You can also chat online at 988lifeline.org/chat.
One Love: empower yourself with the tools and resources you need to see the signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships.
SafeChat Silicon Valley: Text Helpline: 1-833-488-1236 chat with an advocate to obtain support with accessing resources (legal aid, counseling, basic needs, etc) or to talk about what’s going on in your relationship and what to do next.
Teen Link: Helpline: Chat online or text daily at 1-866-TEENLINK (833-6546) with a youth crisis specialist about relationships, stress, depression or any other issues you’re facing. Calls and chats are confidential.
YWCA: For immediate in-person crisis assistance and counseling services, contact the 24-hour Sexual Assault, Domestic Violence, and Human Trafficking Crisis Support Line at (800) 572-2782.